Breast Cancer Survivers - Success Stories

"My Son, My Strength"

It's not easy to rewind the clock emotionally and fully remember the trauma of being diagnosed with breast cancer. But I feel it's important to share my ordeal with the disease with women who dread doing breast self examination leave apart the mammogram.

My journey with cancer started in July 2002. I was very fortunate to have been diagnosed at an early stage and hence had a favorable outcome to the treatments. At that time my son was 8 yrs old and I was his superhero. Being single mother, I was his world and so was he to me.

My life was as normal as anyone else and so was my day. It was 20/7/2002 afternoon it turned life changing for me. On breast self examination I noticed a nodule which initially felt like an abnormal rib. Later after repeated self examinations I found it to be a bony hard fixed breast nodule and the diagnosis was quite clear in my mind.

The Defining Moment

I met my surgeon Dr.N.K.Deshmukh, a great human being with surgical skills par excellence. It was a deep seated nodule which was difficult to palpate. I was trying to read his expression while he was examining me. He very clearly stated "unless proved otherwise it's a malignancy." Still, it is one of those moments in life that remain vivid in the memory for years to come. The kind of moment that is etched in the mind down to the very last details of the time I met my surgeon , where I was standing , who I met me on the way .... I am sure many women feel in that moment of truth, their lives flashing before them and halting suddenly at that point in time, not knowing what the future holds.

Next day biopsy was done, excisional biopsy, as I and my surgeon were not in favor of Fine Needle Aspiration Biopsy. My friends and colleagues were in dilemma as to how the report should be conveyed to me. Finally my pathologist called me to tell that I have infiltrating ductal carcinoma. It was the moment when the diagnosis, the treatment, the road behind, the road ahead, all converged. I remember being so overwhelmed with the news and not knowing how to react.

The Challenge

How do I tell and what do I tell to my 8 yrs old son and protect his childhood too? Dealing with a cancer diagnosis is one of life's greatest challenges but it is not insurmountable. Somewhere from within, we find the strength that helps to overcome the thoughts, the stress, the insecurities...... Then I underwent the rigorous blood tests, sonography, chest X-Ray, CT scan, bone scan et al. and made it sure it was limited only to the breast. Surgery- mastectomy was planned.

I am an eternal optimist so I never thought something like this would happen to me. Most important for everyone to know I had no risk factors whatsoever. Suddenly I was surrounded by chaos. I was devastated, shocked, numbed and worried as any other person. The breast cancer diagnosis completely turns your world upside down at that moment, and that is an understatement! The news of cancer diagnosis brings your life and your plans to a scratching halt. Early in the day I was as normal as anyone else, I had everything going for me and the next day I was working hard to become a cancer conqueror. But I never asked God, "Why me?" Because I know what God brings us to, he brings us through.

My Son, My Strength

My life revolved around my son Aniket who was 8yrs then. I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, an insecure feeling and worries about him as I myself was not sure as to how my cancer would behave. Ani, my sweetheart was constantly trying to find out what was going wrong with his Maa, whom he had never seenas weak. One day he overheard that I was suffering from cancer. He, just 8 yrs, asked me - "Maa you don't smoke, you don't eat tobacco, you don't drink alcohol then how did you get cancer". Oh my darling...... I didn't have words to answer. He always thought of me as a superhero superhuman being.

I had always been strong, positive and a risk taker. But cancer diagnosis had brought me down. Everything happened so quickly- I was walking fast, driving fast, eating fast and made the decisions immediately, I pulled myself from the gloomy clouds of negative thoughts and started working towards the treatment. My focus was undergoing surgery then chemotherapy, radiotherapy as required and getting back to myself, have fun with my son, to go out with him, play with him, to take him out for ride. It's a long road, but it's doable. It may seem like it's never going to end, but things do get better.

The Road Back To Recovery

Then came the day of surgery and I was not able to sleep the night prior to surgery. Post surgery period was uneventful, I coped with it well. Being a gynecologist I knew the survival and recurrence rate of breast cancer but tried not to think about it. Each breast cancer is unique in its behavior. I took a deep breath and narrowed my focus on what really mattered. Post mastectomy I started planning my diet, my short walks, my wrinkle free clothes to be used during chemo sessions, short haircut so that I don't see long strands of hair falling down. I shopped for beautiful scarves to cover the inevitable baldness.

After the wound of mastectomy healed completely, it was 1st chemo day. I planned my chemo sessions on Saturday afternoon after my clinic hours and continued my working throughout the treatment. I did Caesarean section for my patient on 11th post mastectomy day!!

How Being Positive Helped

I thought chemo to be the nastiest to happen but I would say it's 90% how positively you look at chemotherapy which keeps you strong rather than crying on the side effects, by and large the side effects are just temporary. Every emotion one can imagine - fear, anxiety, stress, agony, faith, hope, love, trust, gratitude etc etc., all this and more was experienced by me while the chemo infusion was going on. During chemotherapy I realized how valuable life is. We cannot take little things, like enjoying cup of coffee in the morning without feeling sick or walking out to sit in the garden without feeling exhausted, for granted. We need to appreciate being healthy and trust that god doesn't give us more than we can handle.

Chemo brought with it hair fall, I was scared to comb my hair and finally when I combed I was afraid to see how many are left behind. Being bald-bald-bald, I knew was inevitable. Slowly I was totally bald. My son still thought me to be most beautiful person around. The love in his eyes and the care he was taking made me so comfortable and stronger.

My Warriors

What helped me through was my innate and very deep love for life, my love for my son, my belief that life is worth fighting for, as well as my knowledge that cancer is beatable if diagnosed early. My son, my family, my friends, my colleagues and most important my patients helped me go on.

On the last day of chemo 26/10/2002, I tried to hold my tears back looking at the nursing staff, the junior doctors whom I had grown to adore every single day. I am so thankful to all of them and also my surgeon, my anesthetist, my pathologist, my onco physician, my family , my friends and colleagues who made my journey easier.

It's hard to describe but it is like movie of my life in fast motion. Most important I survived cancer because I had someone to live for. My son's touch and smile were my most significant treatments far out reaching impacts of drugs. Cancer is not about pain, stress, agony..... I learned so much while going through it... unconditional love of my family & friends, as they are precious jewels, realization of how blessed life I have had over the years.

The Learning Journey

Cancer gave me a new 'lens' to view life through. It ultimately makes you learn to appreciate yourself, life, people, places and experiences much, much more. I have learnt to be more patient than I have ever been in my entire life, my innate need to control situations has stopped dead in its tracks, most important I have learned to accept help from others, I am more compassionate to other's needs, care and troubles in their lives than ever before, I say 'I love you' with greater conviction than ever before. I have learned that I have only one life, so every moment counts. I understand it is for me to tell the story to others. People need to know that there is life after diagnosis and treatment of cancer but the prerequisite is early diagnosis. I want to inspire & serve others as I move forward in my life with a greater sense of purpose.

The Statistics

Breast cancer is most common form of cancer for women in India. Most alarming is it's incidence rising every coming year. For this dreaded disease early detection saves life. In our country 70-80% of cancers are detected in late stage and hence the treatment results are limited which gives a general impression of cancer means death. It's a misconception brought due to lack of awareness and early detection.

Making a Difference

I started working with the Snehaanchal palliative care centre to make a difference for terminally ill cancer patients and help them through their last journey. Palliative care not only helps patients beyond physical suffering but also supports caregivers through the difficult & demanding phase. These patients have special needs, and a need for special care and love.

Being with these terminally ill cancer patients, a thought came to my mind - why not to limit the disease before it limits the life. I hence started awareness and screening at site for breast cancer for all strata of society. Special attention was given to rural and low socioeconomic group who due to financial constraints or inaccessibility, are not able to reach for screening and early detection. At the same time started training women for breast self examination.

I want to let everyone know that they should not just be aware of cancer but they should act on it and get screened for early diagnosis. Lot of us think that we are invincible but we should start putting ourselves on the to-do list. Up to 80-90% lumps are detected by breast self examinations.

I want to salute all those who do not live in fear but value their lives enough to go for annual check- ups and regularly do monthly breast self examination.

Creating the "Knitted Knockers" Movement

During all these activities I met survivors with breast cancer related lymph edema. Many are unaware of this negative sequel of breast cancer and its treatment.

Unaware of the treatment option which helps in prevention, limiting its progress and helping to revert back near to normal limb size. Thanks to ILF for organizing lymphedema certification in India under ACOLS, USA. Today I am also a certified lymphedema therapist treating the BRCL.

Apart from trauma accompanying the diagnosis of breast cancer, the pain & side effect of treatments, patient must deal with the double whammy of losing their breast. Unlike agony of losing hair during chemotherapy, the removal of breast permanently affects the women physically and psychologically. The traditional breast prosthesis available are expensive and hence out of reach of survivors with financial constraints. Not having any option they seclude themselves from social activities. I met a lady who had used a small bamboo basket to create the mount and in turn the delicate post surgery skin got injured. To help them gain back confidence, comfort and smile started a moment called KNITTED KNOCKERS INDIA. We provide hand- crafted breast prosthesis (knitted knockers) free of charge to one who needs it.

- We also gift crocheted chemo caps to those undergoing chemotherapy and are having hair loss.
- We provide post mastectomy pillows & drain bags to make the post surgery period comfortable.

MY REASON AND PURPOSE IS TO MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR THOSE IN THE THROES OF BREAST CANCER IN A HOLISTIC WAY.